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  • 美國留學文書
    美國留學個人陳述開頭寫作需警惕什么?
    時間:2015-2-2 16:37:01 來源:摘自互聯(lián)網(wǎng) 點擊:1475

           其實,寫作無非就是提倡個鳳頭、豬肚、豹尾。美國留學申請個人陳述寫作不是要求學生在寫作技藝上嘩眾取寵,而是既能通過這幾張紙幾段文字展示一個全面的你,也能在字里行間給人文字美的享受,這就是不可多得的出彩文章。所以個人陳述有一個好的開頭也是第一印象的鋪墊,需要下點功夫。以下為大家介紹個人陳述寫作中常出現(xiàn)問題的幾種開頭,引起大家警戒:

      一、救世主型

      I am a problem solver. I have an impulse as a kind of instincts to solvevarious problems before me and enjoy doing that. Since I was a little boy, a voice from President Franklin Roosevelt has constantly hovered around my mind, "The world can be changed by man's endeavor, …

      點評:一副救世主的形象,小時候就受富蘭克林的影響,立志改變世界。個人陳述的寫作一定要個人化具體化,別吹大牛,甚至帶著一種霸權主義思維。

      二、猶抱琵琶型

      Making a right decision at the right time is very important for a young people .At present, I have come to a critical point in my life when I have to make a decision concerning my future course of action. Only a perceptive understanding of oneself will enable one to chart his proper action. Aftercarefully thinking, reviewing my life and analyzing my personality, I make the determination and choose to apply for graduate study in XXX. And I choose to specialize in communications which I will pursue a lifelong career.

      點評:重點放在自己要做重大決定上了,人生的轉折點,然后來上句所謂名言警句。浪費字數(shù),有限的字數(shù)里,同學們應該學會直接,并且抓住重點,突出自己最有優(yōu)勢的方面,最有特色的方面。

      三、抄襲句式型

      As a student majoring in Computer Science, I began my odyssey since I entered undergraduate program. Indeed, having entered this splendid computer world, I am more than greedy for something new.

      點評:Odyssey 和more than greedy for something new 這種句式不知道是從哪里學到的,很多同學在用。但你要知道,老外最恨抄襲,最喜原創(chuàng),所以利害關系大家想想吧。

      四、重復簡歷型

      I earned my Bachelor of Science degree in … Sciences with a specialization in … in 2002 at … university

      點評:美國留學個人陳述不要去重復簡歷中的東西,這在很多學校的PS要求中明確提到,個人陳述的寫作要具體到事件上,事件解決上,而不要單純重復已有的內(nèi)容。

      五、學校介紹型

      I am an undergraduate in…University , the largest university anda cradle of scientific and technological talents in China.

      點評:該同學的個人陳述開頭等于是一個申請學校的簡介,這好像是在幫助學校做宣傳,或表達你有多了解該學校,而不是寫個人陳述了。這是沒有意義的開頭,白白浪費了字數(shù),最容易被秒據(jù)掉。

      六、言幼稚型

      'Why the gecko can climb on the wall while we can't-' 'Why the leaves turn red in autumn' 'How many stars are there in the sky-' When I was in childhood, I always kept asking my mom all kinds of questions。I am especially interested in how things work, I can even take apart things for several hours in order to find out its principle.

      點評:上來就回憶童年少年自己如何有著遠大抱負,who cares。個人陳述字數(shù)有限,卻用這么多話描述童年,沒有任何意義。學校想知道你如何看待未來,而不是如何度過過去。

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